Ewoks Hate Trees!

I was just having a discussion with an employee of mine and decided to jot it down. The topic somehow found its way to conserving trees and nature. I told them that it was us or them and that trees would take over if we let them. Just because we are winning the war on trees does not mean we can let our guard down. If we were to relax as the T-Huggers (distant cousins to T-Baggers) would have us do, we would all wind up living in trees and walking to work on suspension bridges. The ewoks did not like living like that but they could not beat the trees for three very good reasons;

1. Little hands and blunt stone axes do not make easy work of giant trees. They had to allocate time for hunting and gathering and by the end of the day they did not have an extra thirty hours per day to hack at the wooden Goliaths.
2. They would overheat as they were basically teddy bears with rain ponchos on their heads. They had no visible pores and no way to cool themselves effectively. They would smell like a cat caught on hot engine block in a matter of hours of cutting.
3. The little bastards can't blink. That fact alone makes fighting trees a losing battle. Have you ever had a splinter? Have you ever had several splinters in your eye? All at once?

The trees had the little suckers over a barrel and they knew it. So what else could they do but live up in the trees and bat shit crazy while they waited for technology that would help them cut away and burn the trees down. Thanks Empire, you saved the day again.

So I will close with the words of Jack B. Handy, "If trees could scream, would we be so quick to cut them down? We would if they screamed all the time for no good reason."