Perfect Crime on Sesame Street.

It would be so easy. No one would see you and more to the point, no one would care. He walks around so smug and sure of himself. He thinks no can touch him, no one could see his movements in the street. He believes himself to be a shadow, a slothful ninja of ill consequence. He is the target. He is the perfect crime. What and who am I talking about? The murder of Snuffleupagus. The only witness who could report you is Big Bird and when he went to the police screaming about an imaginary demon elephant friend that someone has snuffed, they will just put him away. Now there are other things to consider. Such as, is the Snuffleupagus meat edible? Is his blood visible even though the rest of him is not? After an invisible "imaginary" corpse sits out on the Sesame street for a while, does it start to smell? What weapon would best handle the job? So many possibilities to end this unseen break in the evolutionary chain. I want you to see Big Bird. I want to bathe in your big yellow tears as you cry for your friend who no one believed in and now no one cares that he is dead. I will sleep well at night knowing that you can't sleep, always haunted by the knowledge that only you could see him, only you could save him and you failed. Do I spend to much time thinking about killing Muppets? That .......is a fair question and I will get back to you on that one.

Urination Dance Sensation

Urinal Dancing.

It is a problem I have been fighting for years. You find yourself standing at the receptive porcelain place to be with relief on your mind. As you stand and deliver you notice there is a catchy tune playing on the sound system. First you are toe tapping, then swaying to the beat, and before long you have slipped into a dancing black out. When you come to you have sprayed down most of the restroom and half of the other patrons that were present as well. You don't know what else to do so you shoot a few pistol winks, slap some high fives, and bang out some chest bumps with the shocked and disoriented bystanders. You run for the exit as you zip your fly and swear that this will be the last time and you won't ever let yourself get out of control again. You know you will most likely break that vow to yourself, and that this scene will play out again most likely sooner than later. If this sounds like something familiar then you also have a problem with urinal dancing. If by some chance no one finds this similar to their situation then it may mean the problem is mine alone or that I am indeed the problem. I find it hard to believe that no one else has been seduced by the alluring magic that is urinal dancing and the thrill of the post pee disco get away. Thanks for being part of my self imposed intervention.