At The Moment of Deciding to Breathe

Calm. Calm, would be the one word that describes the moment when I noticed the perfect calm of the world around me. Vision transfixed on a single point in front but not really looking at nor seeing anything. Perfectly aware of all that was going on around. Not sure how long it was until I noticed that I was not moving at all, perfectly still in the moment. A statue in the eternity of seconds who was at peace with all that had come before and could be at equal peace with no more things to come. Finding it to be just like those seconds at the bottom of a swimming pool after the chaos of the dive have subsided and the water is silent and you are at the center of the calm. I was not breathing and it felt as if the decision was mine if ever to take up the habit again. Inhale and keep the story going or just sit there in the cushioned throne of stasis. Obviously there was a time limit to the decision yet urgency was missing from this equation. Fade away without another stress, bother, or worry. Breathe the next breathe of adventure, joy, and shared life with those you love. Though no rush was issued, and no anxiety felt in the decision, there was never a question of the outcome. How could I not breathe and give up the fight? To many have I seen who stopped breathing long ago, walking husk that only reflect the place that was their stopping point. Chest rises and falls and the chaos of every heartbeat must be used better than the day before. In times before now, often has the boy stood there throwing rocks into the water without purpose other than to hear the plunk of invaded liquid surface. To often have I squandered the resources of myself to lost endeavors and petty blueprints. I see now how limited the pile of rocks I stand upon is. How my aim must be truer as the years skip across the pond. Stop just stirring the water when there are real fish to catch if only you would just pick up the pole and cast.