The Package

So, this past week, my mother sent a Christmas package to me from the land of Kentucky. Not really for me but for my kids. She's doing the Grandmom thing and making sure the presents are here to be put under the tree for the little darlings. The process started out as one would expect from my mother....

MOM: Brian, I don't know where I wrote your address so I need you to give it to me again so I can write it down this time.

ME: Alright, here it goes, 9993 Blah blah lane, Creve Coeur MO 63132.

MOM: 9..9..2..4..

ME: No, mom, 9993

MOM: 9933...

ME: No, 9 9 9 3!

MOM: Oh, Ok I got it 9993 Bloo Bloo Lane, Sleave Corn MO 65432

ME: No, no, it is....

(this went on for some time)

So she called me once again the morning that she was shipping the package to ask me my address again as she could not read what she had written, so we basically went through the above dialog all over again with my dad in the background talking to her. I am not sure what he was saying, all I heard was the occasional, "no damn it Vickie". Now, if you did not know, my mother has been seriously ill over the last year. She is fighting small cell lung cancer. When she called, I had left my cell phone in my office and was out in my restaurant doing that restaurant thing that I do, when Idalia my head cook comes to get me saying that my phone would not stop making noise. My mom had called two times in short order from her phone and once from her cell. She left me a voice mail saying it was important and I needed to call her cell phone right away. Hearing this, I start thinking worse case scenario for her and maybe even my father so of course I called right away only to find I had been trapped in the address discussion again.

After they got the package sent off via UPS, my mom called and left a voice mail on my phone to tell me it should be here by Monday and if it was not to let her know. She had them set it up so that it required an adult signature. This was not enough insurance so she called back to talk to me personally so that she was 100% sure that I would be there on Monday to receive the package.

Monday came and went with no delivery. She called a few times through the day to see if it had arrived. I told her it had not but not to worry that they often are running a day late or so. Tuesday came and went, once again no package. She was beside herself now, and gave me the tracking number so that I could check online for her. After two or three attempts to get the correct tracking number from her I found it's travel log online. According to it, they had tried to deliver it on Monday and Tuesday but that just could not be as I was home and never saw delivery man one. Upon closer look at the details we find that my mom had mailed it to 9933 blah blah lane. Of course she swears that she gave the woman the piece of paper with the address I gave her so they screwed up. Of course they did, I tell my mother and I will have to go pick it up from their customer center in Earth City just ten minutes away. I tell her I will go on Wednesday when my wife gets home from school so no worries.

Wednesday, my mother calls me three times in the morning to see if I have gone to get it yet. I tell her no as my wife is not home yet and I am not taking the kids solo on this adventure. My wife ends up handling an errand for her mother so she does not get home until almost 8:30 at night. My mother calls twice that night after I have already told her about the change in plans and that I will get it on Thursday after work. By this point I am feeling a bit harassed.

Thursday, and the calls start at about 9:00 AM even though I told her that I would not be going until after work. Her voice mails sound pretty much the same, "Brian,....it's mom. I was just wondering if you have picked up that package yet. I was just worried about it. Call me to let me know you got it, ok?" and I had a busy day so I did not return her calls because I was just going to call once the package was in hand and squash this whole process. At 3:00 my phone rings again and I see it is my mother again. I answer to, "Brian, ....it's mom. Have you got the package? Did they lose it?" to which I reminded her that I have not left work yet but will absolutely call her to let her know I have "THE PACKAGE". I am starting to feel like I am part of some shady deal gone wrong and have to get possession of "THE PACKAGE" by any means possible. End of story is I picked up the package and all is safe and sound. My mom is funny in her worries but I wanted to write this to help me remember in the future how funny she is with her quirks and how no matter how annoying she is sometimes with these habits, I need to treasure her just the way she is. I love you Mom.